Why Would I do this to Kale?

Did you ever buy something just because it looked pretty?

I am not talking about an impulsive shoe buy or a Gucci bag. No, I am talking about a bag of kale.

I was in Trader Joe's and saw this beautiful large bag of rainbow mixed Swiss chard and kale. I have to confess, I have never used either in any recipes, but figured this was too pretty to pass up.

This is called an impulsive purchase.

I had no idea what to do with this pretty bag but was happy to own it.
I googled kale and Swiss chard recipes and came up with mostly soups. I was told that kale should not be eaten raw, it has to be cooked, so cooked it will be!

I found a recipe for ROASTING KALE and SWISS CHARD that said "Best Recipe for Kale Ever!".
Why would I do this? Because I am an idiot.

Lay 4 lbs of kale and chard (that was the size of the bag) on a cookie sheet with olive oil and roast at 400 degrees until crispy, about 7-10 minutes.
After removing from the oven, sprinkle with Maldon Sea Salt & serve.

I destroyed this beautiful, bright, happy and colorful bag of hopeful vegetables by turning them into disgusting, dry pieces of air. I gave some to my taste tester without giving my opinion and asked how he liked it.

His reply: "It tastes like a piece of paper with salt on it".

I am sorry Mr. Kale & Mrs. Chard. I really killed this one!

I will stick with the Gucci bags, I have better luck with that impulsive purchase!


You should have emailed me. :) We love kale around here in fact we grow our own, kale, that is. Next time, if there is a next time, saute it with a good olive oil then add sea salt and garlic. You will love it!
Ciao Chow Linda said…
Stacey - That was funny. I like that you tell us your food gaffes as well as successes. Swiss chard is one of my favorite veggies - the "queen of greens" I call it. I chop off the stems and cook them as a separate vegetable, then use the leaves like you'd use cooked spinach. Try it in a quiche or flan, or stuffed and wrapped up and served with tomato sauce. The kale is great with sausages and beans too. I've even had it raw chopped up finely in salads. But I know you won't give up on either veggie. Next time -- success.
Maria said…
Funny post! Kale is really pretty, you did some major damage though..ha! JK!!
kat said…
Oh what a bummer. I've made kale chips a lot & really enjoy them, though I think Matt is more in the same opinion as you guys. I think when I've done it though I've used curly kale.
LaDue & Crew said…
I'm sorry, but I am laughing my ass off on this one... you opened the door though :o) I just love coming here, Stace- you keep it so "real"! Whatever you do though, don't give up on those bags... wise, wise, purchase, an investment I say!
You're going to need to make a really good vege dish to appease the Vegetable Gods now. ;) - John
RecipeGirl said…
You have me laughing this early Wednesday AM. Too funny. Of COURSE you listened to that recipe. Anything that says it's the best... I've never tried it either, but I'll make sure not to roast it in the oven when I do :)
Anonymous said…
Your husband's grandfather grew kale and swisschard in his Victory Garden during the big one.. WWII.
And his grandmother worked very hard "canning" it for those cold winter months. How I hated that process... a really hot kitchen made hotter with a huge pot of boiling water sterilizing all those Ball jars. The good ole days!! But - swisschard sauteed in olive oil is DELISH!!!!

Stacey Snacks said…
I promise to give kale & Swiss chard another try!
Bob said…
Bummer, I hate it when that happens.
Karen said…
Aww, too bad, but look on the bright side - it could have been beautiful and delicious! Better luck next time :)
Pam said…
It happens to the best of us. Don't give up on kale - I love it in soups.
Anonymous said…
I buy the exact same bag - "chards of many colours"? Exactly for the same reason, I'm a sucker for all those pretty colours. I just stirfry it for a minutes, then add a splash of water and let it wilt two seconds with the steam, and then, hop hop, a Tbsp or two of pesto and garlic, and off it goes to my lunchbox. Great with pasta too. And the lady at the till at TJ's told me the recipe on the back of the bag worked great for her. Never got round to trying it, takes too long in the morning. Give "Kale of many colours" another chance, it's worth it.
Oh so sad!! At least you tried. :) I put Kale in one of the crockpot soups we made and it was delicious. I guess since it's so hearty it really holds up well.
Anonymous said…
I'm so glad you posted this! I have tried "kale chips" a few different times, and I always have the same opinion as you! But so many food bloggers seem to love it...so thank you for making me feel better.
Giff said…
This one had me laughing out loud. Lisl was demanding to know what was so funny.

I typically only use kale in soups (where I like it), but I love love love love love Swiss chard.

Saute it like spinach with a touch of lemo, (but include some of the stems), or do a gratin, or wrap it around risotto, or so many things! It's my favorite new vegetable.
Anonymous said…
You should try this again, but instead of roasting, get a pot really hot and add a splash of olive oil and some sliced garlic. Brown, then add the kale, some salt and pepper and sautee. When it's done hit it with a splash of lemon juice or balsamic vinegar. Great on some crusty bread that's been toasted.
Anonymous said…
The number one worst dish I've ever cooked involved what was a beautiful head of radicchio at the store. I eventually forgave radicchio and used it again.
You're hilarius! Don't give up on chard! I love it, my new favorite green! great in soups, and love it sauteed with garlic, olive oil and lemon. Love the bag!!
Melissa said…
Aw, sorry Stacey! Better luck next go round. I wouldn't even know where to begin with it - I only ever use chard (and kale, if I can't get chard) in one soup I make.
brandin + kari said…
I love your brutal honesty. I love Kale, and Chard when it is cooked well. But, somehow, I just cant find a way to get Erik to eat it. When I do, I will send you the recipe:)
Debbie said…
Just found your blog. Love the story!!!!
I we love it too!
I cook it as if I were cooking spinach.
Good luck next time!
Anonymous said…
hilarious. can you buy kale that's not prewashed or pre-packaged? roasting it may work well when the kale is in it's normal, non-cut piece. you know, the long, wide piece? just wondering if that would've given it a bit more "body". but kale is a staple in our house. we sub it for rabe and toss w/ lots of garlic, peperoncino and olive oil. we also put a bit of white wine, grape tomatoes (till they are very soft) and some pine nuts or chickpeas too. it's so versatile and (better yet) CHEAP.
Anonymous said…
I absolutely love Kale and Chard. For many of the colder months I get large batches of it in my organic basket weekly; and I am always trying to come up with new ideas to use it. I wanted to let you know that Kale can definitely be eaten raw. In fact, in its raw state it is quite the super food, really high in nutrients. I thought I would share my favorite raw Kale recipe, its a salad that most days you will see in my fridge in large batches because it last for days and in fact gets better as the days go on, because it does not wilt like lettuce, but instead absorbs all the fabulous flavors.
Here goes...
One bunch Kale chopped up small
2 carrots, shredded
15 or so grape tomatoes, halved
1-2 garlic cloves (depending on your taste)smashed or grated.
1 small red onion, finely sliced
1/2 cup soaked pinenuts
juice of 1 lemon
1/4 cup Olive Oil
Salt and Pepper to taste
If you like some spice add a little cayenne or crused peppers.

Mix it all together and set in refigerator.

Its delicious I promise!